English English jokes
..a little joke from Malawi (and I am sure they tell it in many other countries too :-) )
Guy: Doctor, My girlfriend is pregnant but
we always use protection and the rubber
never broke. How is it possible?
Doctor: Let me tell you a story: "There was
once a Hunter who always carries a Gun
wherever he goes. One day he took his
Umbrella instead of his Gun and went out.
A Lion suddenly jumped infront of him.
In order to scare the Lion,the Hunter used
the Umbrella like a Gun,and shot the
Lion,then it died!
Guy: Nonsense!! Someone else must've
shot the Lion...
Doctor: Good!! You understood the Story.
Next patient please..!!
Where the babies come from, darling!
In the stork???
Edita
President Trump invited the Pope for lunch on his mega yacht, the Pope accepted and during lunch, a puff of wind blew the Pontiff's hat off, right into the water.
It floated off about 50 feet, then the wind died down and it just floated in place. The crew and the secret service were scrambling to launch a boat to go get it, when Trump waved them off, saying "Never mind, boys, I'll get it."
The Donald climbed over the side of the yacht, walked on the water to the hat, picked it up, walked back on the water, climbed onto the yacht, and handed the Pope his hat.
The crew was speechless. The security team and the Pope's entourage were speechless. No one knew what to say, not even the Pope.
But that afternoon, NBC, CBS, ABC, MSNBC, CNN all knew how to cover the story. Their banner headlines read, "TRUMP CAN'T SWIM!"
What's the difference between a HIPPO and a zippo ? One is quite heavy and the other is a little lighter ...
oh yes..very good..dear Wolkenschieber...and understandable...grinssssssss
haha, so here is another one for you , dear yoli ...
A senior citizen walks into the barbershop for a shave and a haircut, but he tells the barber he can’t get all his whiskers off because his cheeks are wrinkled from age. The barber gets a little wooden ball from a cup on the shelf and tells him to put it inside his cheek to spread out the skin. When he’s finished, the old fella tells the barber that was the cleanest shave he’s had in years. But he wanted to know what would have happened if he had swallowed that little ball. The barber replied: “Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does...”
An example:
Why is Sardarji slicing his medical capsules on both sides before swallowing them?
Because he's trying to avoid side effects!
Now I've got a very unusual Sikh joke, and it's true - a Buddhist friend of mine from the States told me:
He has a friend, a Sikh, and they were coming out of a pub, when a born-again Christian showed up.
Seeing the Sikh with his turban, he addressed him, "I've got good news for you, from Jesus Christ."
"No, I'm not interested in that - I'm Sikh." "Oh, I see - but Jesus can heal you!"
thank you Wolkenschieber for making me laugh.. I get going to find some funny things as well. Take care
Love Yoli
Hi qilin..another world for me but I like those jokes. Eyebrows raised..how do you know that Swiss people make joke over the Austrian?
We always say..those are no jokes
they are true...hihi
