English English jokes
I hope it was not too naughty?
My goodness - I think, I cannot tell them to my English class! without feeling naughty.
Rose Dear.. ahem I would not dare either ...hihi
My husband’s cousin married a former Marine who now works for United Parcel Service.
They bought their four-year-old son two stuffed bears — one in a UPS uniform and the other in Marine garb. When the boy seemed confused, his father brought out a picture of himself in full Marine dress.
“See, Connor?” he explained, pointing to the photo and then to the bear. “That’s Daddy.”
Connor’s eyes went from one to the other, and then he asked in a puzzled voice, “You used to be a bear?”
so sweet :-) Thank you for the present of a smile
When you have an “I hate my job day”
Try this out;
Stop at the pharmacy, go to the thermometer section und purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson
Be very sure you get this brand.
When you get home, lock the door and close the curtains over the windows and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.
Sit in your favourite chair and open the package of the thermometer.
Now the fun begins.
Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print you will read a statement:
“Every rectal thermometer from Johnson & Johnson has been personally tested and re-sanitized”.
Now close your eyes and repeat five times, “I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson.”
Not really a joke but funny:
Greetings - Via
the doggie looks sweet in the Police car . I admit though that I spent 6 minutes trying to find out what the letters at the end mean
alskdjfhg in Community Dictionary
The common term utilized when an Interweb individual pretends like they actually just slammed the keyboard in anger. When in all actuality they really just pressed the middle row of secrets in a "left, appropriate, left, appropriate, etc." sequence until they will have effectively strike all the tips. by BobbieReport definition
Here is a good one....
Brilliant, Laugh for the day: If Trump were captain of the RMs Titanic Captain Trump of the RMS Titanic: There isn't any iceberg. There was an iceberg but it's in a totally different ocean. The iceberg is in this ocean but it will melt very soon. There is an iceberg but we didn't hit the iceberg. We hit the iceberg, but the damage will be repaired very shortly. The iceberg is a Chinese iceberg. We are taking on water but every passenger who wants a lifeboat can get a lifeboat, and they are beautiful lifeboats. Look, passengers need to ask nicely for the lifeboats if they want them. We don't have any lifeboats, we're not lifeboat distributors. Passengers should have planned for icebergs and brought their own lifeboats. I really don't think we need that many lifeboats. We have lifeboats and they're supposed to be our lifeboats, not the passengers' lifeboats. The lifeboats were left on shore by the last captain of this ship. Nobody could have foreseen the iceberg. And I'll add: The Democrats planted the iceberg there. It was Obama's fault It's a Democratic hoax